What happened 2 ur network? I tried 2 call u but the operator said “Welcome 2 the jungle, the monkey u r trying to call is on the tree….Plz try later.”
*****************************************
Why couldn’t the apple send an e-mail to the orange? Because the line was engaged.
**********************************
Heaven
Heaven is when U have a German car,
American salary,
Chinese food & Indian wife.
Hell is when car is Chinese,
food is German,
wife is American and salary Indian.!
*******************************
Son asks his Dad diff btwn LOVE, BELIEF & RELIEF.
Father says:
Yr Mom is my LOVE.
Your maid is my RELIEF
& I’m your Dad – well, that’s my BELIEF.
***************************
Bst pick up line 2 approch a grl!
Go 2 her & ask “is ur dad a
terrorist” She’ll say “wat?”
Then u say “no no I asked coz u
r such a Bomb”
***********************************
When ur life is in darkness
pray 2 God ask him 2 free u
from darkness & if after u
pray & ur still in darkness,
plz pay ur ELECTRICITY BILL!
*******************************
It goes in dry, it comes out
wet, the stronger its in,
the stronger it get,
we can have it in bed just
u n me, not what u think…
I m a teabag.
************************************
BRAND SEX
Sex is like nokia – connecting people
like Nike – just do it
Like Pepsi – ask for more
Like Samsung – everyone is invated
and like you – TO GOOD TO BE TRUE!
***********************************
Wife: I wish I was a newspaper,
so I’d be in ur hands allday.
Husband: I too wish that u were
a newspapers, so I could have
a new one everyday
*****************************
Girlfriend: Will you love me
after marriage also?
Boyfriend: This depends on your
husband, if he allows me…
************************
Wife: If I sleep with ur best
friend what will be the first
thought to cross ur mind?
Husband: That u are a Lesbian!
****************************************
A Sardar was laying on his bed
looking at the beautiful stars,
the moon and the sky…. then It
struck to him where the heck is
the roof!
**********************
a-ur attractive
b-ur beautiful
c-urcaring
d-ur delicous
e-ur exciting
f-ur funny
g-ur gorgeous
h-ur heavenly
I-IM
J-JUST
K-KIDDING
L-LOSER!
*******************
Different Phases of a man
After engagement : Superman
After Marriage : Gentleman
After 10 years : Watchman
After 20 years : Doberman
*********************************
SWOT Analysis:
Strength: My Wife
Weakness: My neighbours wife
Opportunity: When neighbour is on tour
Threat: When I am on tour
***********************************************
Teacher: I wish you would
pay a little attention!
Student: I m paying as
little as I can sir!
**********************************
i have …’L’
i have …’O’
i have …’V’
i have …’E’
Can you send me …”you”
*******************************
Sincere Apology: If u dont like
any of my SMS n dont like 2 read,
then plz dont hesitate, feel free
to….. throw ur mobile!!
******************************************
God saw ME hungry,
he created pizza.
he saw ME thirsty,
he created Pepsi.
he saw ME in dark,
he created light.
He saw ME without problems,
he created YOU!
*********************************
Gorgeous,
intelligent,
kind,
sweet,
charming,
witty,
hilarious,
friendly…
well enough about ME!
How are you
*********************************
Hi! need 1 girl
2 Marry..
Age no bar,
color no bar,
height no bar,
caste no bar,
but girl’s father
must have a OWN BAR.. CHEERS!
******************************
Birds love you,
monkeys love you,
hippos love you,
snakes love you,
tortoise love you,
giraffe loves you…..
Please go back to ZOO,
they all really miss you!
******************************
ROSES R RED VOILETS R BLUE
MONKEYS LIKE U SHOULD BE
KEPT IN ZOO.
DON’T FEEL ANGRY U WILL
FIND ME THERE TOO NOT
IN CAGE BUT LUGHING AT U.
**************************************
I wrote ur name on sand it got
washed away. I wrote ur name in
air, it was blown away. then I
wrote ur name on my heart and
I got heart ATTACK….
************************************
My friend, the best quality
that I like about u is that,
U R very sentimental ….
10% Senti and 90% Mental..!
******************************************
Dark were those days, without ur sight.
When I was in darkness, u gave me light.
u gave me strength 2 make life bright.
Thank u so much PHILIPS TUBELIGHT
************************************
When I C the moon I C U
When I C the stars I C U
When I C the Sea I C U
Get out of the way U R
always blocking my view.
*************************************
I ve written nice poem 4 you.
Twinkle Twinkle Little Star..
you should Know What you R..
& Once you Know What you R..
Mental Hospital is not So Far..
*********************************
Whn you r alone,
Whn you r crying,
whn you r upset,
Don’t think of me!!
just call me
Bcoz
incoming
is free for me… my friend!!
************************************
Days are 2 Busy,
Hours are 2Fast,
Seconds are 2 Few
But there’s always
TIME for ME
2 disturb YOU
*******************************
MONEY say me “earn me lot”
time says me “plan me lot”
flower says me “love me lot”
sms says “send me lot”
& I say “remember me lot”
*********************************
Husbd: Darling, years ago u
had a figure like Coke bottle.
Wife: Yes darling I still do,
only differnece is earlier it
was 300ml now it’s 1.5 ltr.
*****************************
Hello I am a virus and
I am entering your brain
right now…..
sorry I have to leave,
I can’t find a brain.
********************************
Confidence and Confidential
Son asks diff btw Confidence and Confidential
Dad says, u are my son, I am Confident.
Ur friend is also my son, thats Confidential
**********************************
A good friend is like a computer
I ‘enter’ ur life,
’save’ u in my heart,
‘format’ ur problems,
’shift’ u 2 opportunities
& never ‘delete’ u from my memory!
*************************************
I want to share Everything with you. Your JOYS, Your SADNESS, Your HAPPY MOMENTS Every single second of day Let us START with your ATM Password first.
***********************************
GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we’ll be the happiest couple
********************************
When do you congratulate someone for their Mistake? Answer : On their Wedding !!
**********************************
A Mother makes her son Intelligent in 20 years, but a Girl can makes him Stupid in 2 minutes.
*******************************
What do I do when I see someone extremely Gorgeous, Attractive, Terrific, Cute, Fabulous…. I Stare, I smile, And, when I get tired….. I put down the mirror !
***************************
New style of proposing a girl: I have spent many sleepless nights in ur love, & I don’t want my son to do the same 4 your daughter, So lets make them brother & sister.
**********************************
Hubby: Darling, years ago u had a figure like Coke bottle. Wife: Yes darling I still do, only difference is earlier it was 300ml now it’s 1.5 ltr.
***************************************
If u read dis, I’m SMART. If u save dis, you agree dat I’m SMART. If u fwd dis, u r spreading dat I’m SMARt & if u delete dis, u r jealous coz I’m SMART
****************************************
Think Well Work Well Eat Well Sleep Well Play Well and also put ur Mobile inside the same well Because you r not messageing me… well
************************************
Butterflies don’t know the color of their wings, but human eyes know how nice it is. Like wise u don’t know how good u are, but I know How Special U R.
*********************************************
When u decide to Create the time rather than Manage the time, u’ll notice a dramatic effect on ur stress & happiness level. Gud Day!
*******************************************
Luv is what I see in ur smile. Luv is what I feel in every touch u give. Luv is what I hear in every word u say.
Luv is what we share everyday. Luv U!
Everything has a day… Every pet has a day… Every fool too has a day! Hope you might have enjoyed… your day!
***********************
• No sweet thought to forward, no cute graphics to send. Just a ‘Caring Heart’ saying, ‘Take Care!’ Miss U!
*******************
• A cup of hot hello, a plate of crispy wishes, a spoon of sweet smiles, a slice of great success, specially for you… Good Morning. Have a successful day!
********************
Smile makes the day better. That’s the best thing we can do to make life happier, to us and to others. Good
Morning!
**********s***************
Telling a lie is a fault for a child, an art 4 a lover, an accomplishment for a bachelor and a Matter of Survival for a married man. Gud Luck!
********************************
• People die younger coz God loves them so much. But u r still on earth coz there is someone who loves u more than God
****************************
• To love is a duty and right. To be loved is a gift and luck. To love someone who loves u is an achievement. To be loved by someone whom u love is LIFE!
******************************
I m feeling so happy, do u know why? Coz I’m so lucky, do u know how? Coz God luvs me. Do u know how? Coz he gave me a gift. Do u know what? its YOU my love.
****************************
Where words fail, action speaks. Where action fails, eyes speak. Where eyes fail, tears speak. And where everything fails, LOVE SPEAKS!
*****************************
Morning smile makes the day better. That’s the best thing v can do to make life happier, to us and to others. Good Morning!
****************************
True friends never leave each other, True friends never part. They just sometimes sit silently deep within each others’ heart & say: I’m still here.
****************************
To share what is difficult; to heal what is hurting; to think what is not possible; to understand without even
talking is the miracle called Luv!
*****************************
Commit your life, your plans, your dreams, your fears to God. You will have peace. Have a peaceful day.
*************************************************
Never regret any day in life. Gud days gives us happiness, bad days gives us experiences. Both r essential in life. All are God’s Blessings. Let’s thankful to Him.
*******************************************
If u can solve ur problem, then what’s the need of worrying? If u can’t solve it, then what is the use of worrying? Good Luck!
******************************
Nothing is permanent in this world, not even our troubles. So, keep on enjoying the life. Don’t lose your smile at any moment!
*****************************
God knows ur future. He may not reveal it to u, but he’ll walk with u & the future unfolds. Don’t trust the stars, trust the ONE who made them.
*************************
Happiness is the delicate balance between what one is and what one has. Balance it and be happy. Gud Day!
***************************
May the Lohri fire burns all the moments of sadness & brings u warmth of joy n happiness. Wishing U a very happy Lohri.
**************************
We spend our days waiting for the ideal path to appear in front of us but what we forget is that, paths are made by walking, not by waiting.
**************************
Do all the good u can, by all the means u can, in all the ways u can, in all the places u can, at all the times u can, to all the people u can, as long as U can.
**********************************
Tackle life with all ur skill to overcome each & every hill; if u persist with all ur will, u will enjoy ur life & all its thrill… so just chill !!
**********************
Trust shud be like the Feeling that the one year old baby has… When you throw him in the air, he laughs coz he knows u’ll catch him, without falling.
******************************
Failures shud find a place in mind, Successes shud find a place in heart coz failures are long term lessons & successes are short-term happiness.
***************************
Start the work in the name of God, Do the work with the help of God, Finish the work with thanks to God coz he decides, gives and makes everything possible.
*************************
A honest smile, smiled from a smiling heart, crossing miles, has just reached your inbox, wishing you a day full of happiness & relaxation.
***********************
All the long year through, the joy that u give to others, is the joy that comes back to u. And the more u spend in blessing the poor, the lonely & sad, the more of ur heart’s possessing returns to u glad.
************************
Faith makes all things possible, hope makes all things work, love makes all things beautiful. May you have all the three for this Year. Happy New Year !
********************
Happiness keeps U sweet, Trails make U strong, Sorrows keep U human, Failure keeps U humble, Success keeps u glowing & God keeps U going! Keep going! Happy New Year!
*********************
New is the year, New r the hopes & the aspirations, New is the resolution, New r the spirits & forever my warm wishes are for U. Have a promising & fulfilling New Year.
**********************
Butterflies don’t know the color of their wings, but human eyes know how nice it is. Like wise u don’t know how good u are, but I know How Special U R.
*********************
When u decide to Create the time rather than Manage the time, u’ll notice a dramatic effect on ur stress & happiness level. Gud Day!
*********************
Hardest moment is not that when u lose something & tears come out of ur eyes but it’s the one when u lose something & still manage to smile!
*******************
Christmas is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind. To cherish peace and goodwill, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas.
*****************
May all the sweet magic of Christmas conspire to gladden your hearts and fill every desire. Merry Christmas.
**********************
Dreams r not those which r seen during Sleep, dreams r those which’ll never let u sleep, so see the Dreams & work hard to make them true.
***********************
In life do the Ordinary & God’ll do the Extraordinary; Do the Natural & God’ll do the Supernatural; Do the Possible & God’ll do the Impossible.
************************
Laughing faces don’t mean that there is absence of sorrow but they mean that there is the ability to deal with it!
************************
Cheerfulness is what greases the axles of the world. Don’t go through life creaking.
**********************
The word Trust is the basis of all relatioas but a small mistake can change its entire meaning. Like just a missing ‘T’ can ‘RUST’ the relation!
*********************
Life is like a flowing river of oppurtunities, it’s upto you to stand along with a bucket or with a spoon! Good Morning!
*********************
Life is chemistry. Dilute ur sorrows, evaporate ur worries, filter ur happiness & u’ll find crystals of Love.
May u get best in the Life.
*********************
Value of relation is not that how much one feels happy with someone, but it is the emptyness that one feel without someone…
*********************
The mist turns to light, Morning takes over the night. Another beautiful day dawning, it’s time to wish you a very Good Morning!
********************
Everyday same wishes! Are U bored of it? Let it be difft this time: Let the devils sing around U, Mummies dance around u, Vampires sit beside U. Have a horrible day!
*********************
Rules of Life: Assume nothing, Xpect little, Do more, Demand less, Smile often, Dream big, Laugh a lot, Pray always, & Cry once for Missing me.
********************
Sumday sumone might come into ur life & luv u the way u’ve always wanted. If ur sumday was yesterday, learn. If ur sumday is tomorrow, hope. If ur sumday is today, cherish.
*********************
I have seen angels in the sky, I have seen snowfall in July, I have seen things u only imagine to see, but I haven’t seen anything sweeter than U.
********************
Happiness is not something u postpone for the future. It’s something u design for the present. Make each moment a happy one. I hv by remembering U
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